The model of the computerized librarian

Caveat Lector links to a little ditty about what is a computerized librarian. The scary thing, if it can be called that, is that I can do a few of those things. It may cause a giggle or two. Here is part of the lyrics:

I quickly search the Internet or grab the right book off the shelf;
Then give the patron answers or I teach him how to search himself,
I speed through every database like Galenet, ProQuest, Dialog,
My records are all organized, just try my on-line catalog;
My homepage is a marvel of well-documented, helpful links,
It points to sites on modern jazz, hang-gliding and old Egypt's Sphinx!
I know just how to catalog in Dewey and in L. of C.,
I know the best books you should buy and those you wouldn't want for
free.